Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize