This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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