I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
