I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
