I have demons in me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
