the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you would pick up someone in the library
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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