Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
