God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think people are normalizing furries
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize