I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize