making cat noises will not fix the situation.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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