that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
