I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
