FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
