his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
