Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize