I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
