overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
