Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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