a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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