He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
barbara walters just said penis...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
