I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
