Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
