in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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