you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize