You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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