Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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