There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
