My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
