i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize