So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
