Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
