It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize