I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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