the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize