oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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