U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize