i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
