so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Randomize
