i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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