I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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