she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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