Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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