I'm gonna have a badass scar
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
