it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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