I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize