And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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