bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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