What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's rum buckets o'clock
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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