idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize