Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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