Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
