I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
