Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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