just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
