I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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