apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize