At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
