the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
