I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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