Your dad touched me again.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
