haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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