I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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