that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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