so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
