why didn't you poke me back
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
