Someone shit on the floor
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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