just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
