i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
