would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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