just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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