Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i will never coherently bang her
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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