he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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