How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Houston, we have a squirter
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
