If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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