So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just google imaged poop.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
