I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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