Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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